I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
