Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so explain again why im purple
no
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
