not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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