where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
