he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
