All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
