the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pants are for mortals
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
