...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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