i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
