Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
