Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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