I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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