Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize