I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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