so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
