Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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