I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
