Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well you can't waste a boner
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
