In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize