I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
