so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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