Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
