dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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