So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
