He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
