Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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