I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Randomize