took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she peed on how many people?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
