New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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