i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
