yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
