It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
