Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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