So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
