I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
