You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
