If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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