she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
