My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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