I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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