Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
