Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
