no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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