She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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