Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
