6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
