i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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