I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize