I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
