I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
