Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My penis needs a shock collar
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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