well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
