just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
