If i come over, it means nothing
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Randomize