Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
