Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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