Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
