I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
