Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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