It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
