All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
