after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
