just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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