i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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