shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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