I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
